U.S. President Visits Iran: "Allahu akbar!"

[Setting: Tehran International Airport, some time in the not-too-distant future.]

POTUS steps out of Air Force One, blinking in the brilliant mid-day sun, overwhelmed by the sheer mass of humanity (several hundred thousand strong) who have come to bear witness. POTUS deplanes, drops to his knees to kiss Iranian soil, and then is quickly escorted to a nearby review stand. He shakes the hand of the Iranian president and stumbles through a greeting he'd memorized in Farsi, just for this occasion. POTUS then steps up to a microphone, clears his throat, raises his hands to the heavens and shouts:

"Allahu akbar! Allahu akbar! Allau akbar!" [See translation below]

Though momentarily stunned by this unexpected outburst, the crowd picks up the chant and joins POTUS for ten delirious minutes intoning:

"Allahu akbar! Allahu akbar! Allahu akbar!"

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

[Setting: A private meeting in the White House, with only two people present: POTUS and Rabbi:

Rabbi:  "What you did in Iran was quite remarkable. Tell me, could you ever go to Israel and chant, Barukh atah Adonai, Elohaynu, melekh ha-olam? [This means, "Blessed are you, Lord, our God, king of the universe."]"

POTUS: "I suppose I could do something similar, but not that prayer in particular. It's easy for me to say `Allahu akbar,' which means 'God is Great/Greater/Greatest'. As a Buddhist, I can recognize the Islamic God as a Buddha, especially since 'Allahu akbar' can be translated to mean a 'God is Great', but not necessarily the 'Greatest.' In your prayer, you are in effect saying ‘our God [your Buddha] is the greatest.’ Buddhists don't get into assertions about which particular Buddha is the greatest."

Rabbi: "Then you could possibly chant some other Jewish prayer before an Israeli crowd?"

POTUS: "I could, depending on the wording, but for now I won't. Why? Your Islamic brothers might not understand, and it is they who need my small tokens of respect far more than your tribesmen. But tell me this:

Could you, right now, with only the two of us here, say 'Allahu akbar?'"

Rabbi: "No, I can't do that. Why do you ask?"

POTUS: "Just curious."

Translation:

Allahu akbar: From Wikipedia ["Takbir"]: "The takbir is an Arabic name for the phrase Allahu Akbar, a common Arabic expression, which can be translated as 'God is Great,' 'God is Greater,' or 'God is the greatest.'"

Steven Searle for US President in 2012

Founder of The Independent Contractors’ Party

“The way I see things – the entire world is the Garden of Eden, but there are parts of it that need a little work.”

Contact me at : bpa_cinc@yahoo.com