Of Buddhas, Bacon, and "Pigs"

“When I die, please slice me and dice me and feed me to pigs. Then, next time you eat a piece of bacon, think of me.”

That’s what I said when someone asked me, years ago, how I want to be remembered. After recovering from his shock, my friend said that was a mighty strange thing for a Buddhist to say.

Somewhat jokingly, I replied: “Oh, I don’t know about that. There’s a little bit of pig in all of us, of both the metaphorical as well as the grubbing type. I’ve eaten bacon my whole life, so why shouldn’t I return the favor to some pig somewhere? And, of course, that pig will return the favor after someone eats him. That’s what Buddhism is all about – a belief in the fundamental equality of all things and their cyclicity.”

I clarified, though, that my statement was more to be taken as a protest against burials in cemeteries, and the hogging (pun intended) of all that land that could be used instead for (say) a nice park, and to note how desperately people want to be remembered – that last part doesn’t mean much to me.

My friend protested that I should donate my body to science or perhaps dole out my parts as an organ donor. I replied, “These are fine options, but it’s my body and I’ll do what I want with it. Or rather, I’ll convey my wishes to others and leave it in their hands.”

“There are laws,” he said.

“So what?” I countered, “As I said, I’ll leave it in their hands. But…I won’t be disappointed if the baconization of Steven Searle doesn’t come to pass. If, however, I manage to become a Buddha in this lifetime, I will have the ability to at least give the appearance of this option becoming reality.”

Why think of this now?

The preceding conversation happened, as I said, years ago. But it recently came to mind when I was thinking about how 1960’s radicals use to call cops “pigs” during protest marches. I know this because I was at some of those marches and heard some of my fellow demonstrators call out this obscenity. Yeah, even then I thought of it as an obscenity, to call another human being a pig. I could never bring myself to do it. But I suppose some do it to make a point.

We do lots of things to make points. However, I remember reading an interesting observation in a local newspaper at that time: “In order for your revolution to succeed, you can’t polarize by calling cops ‘pigs;’ you’ve got to find some way to bring those cops over to your side.”

Conspiracy theories galore, but…

I’ve just finished reading an interesting book called The Creature from Jekyll Island: A Second Look at the Federal Reserve. If you love conspiracy theories, Creature will definitely hook you. But there are many conspiracy theories out there concerning themselves with how a powerful secret society of diabolical schemers is planning to take over the world (or already has). Freemasons and Illuminati come to mind, but (to be sure) there are others on this hit list.

[Or maybe (gasp), it’s an interlocking directorate.]

In the few of my blog posts* where I mention them at all, I simply call them the Oligarchs. I suppose it’s remotely possible that some of them might read my blog posts* – more or less as a form of cheap entertainment, I would guess. That being the case, I want them to think about something.

Dear Oligarch (or one of his loved ones):

I don’t doubt your intelligence or work ethic, not in the slightest. However, I suggest that you might want to take a moment to ask yourself: “What is real power and how might I obtain it?”

As you ponder those questions, think about Shakyamuni Buddha. Before he became a Buddha, he was an Oligarch just like you – that is, he was a prince who gave it all up in order to become something much more than a prince. However, it’s a vast understatement to say, “He gave it all up.” He didn’t give up anything. Rather, much like you, he had an instinct for a good trade. He knew he couldn’t be both a Buddha and a secular ruler, so (in effect) he traded a lump of coal for a lump of gold.

You might laugh and say, “I know what I’m doing and I’m pretty comfortable in my own skin, thank you very much.”

All fine and well, but all I ask is that you consider the possibility: Trade up and seek enlightenment. I’m not really much of one to talk, since I’m not enlightened myself (well, maybe I am a little bit, but not yet a Buddha). All I can do is put my offer into words. Which I’ve done here and now. According to the Buddha, we can all become Buddhas, which means that all of us can attain the same powers and abilities as Shakyamuni Buddha.

All that’s necessary to start a new seeker out on the path (even one who doesn’t yet know he’s a new seeker) is to hear someone extend the invitation. The hearing of the words is what’s important, so I’m sorry you can’t hear my voice making this offer. The Buddha placed a lot of emphasis on the hearing of the voice of the Law. But…I’ll have to make do with this internet-based invitation. It’s the best I can do, especially since I never learned how to put my voice on the internet via something like a YouTube clip. Hmm…maybe that wouldn't have been good enough, since that would only have been a reproduction of my voice.

If I ever see you face-to-face, I will invite you to practice Buddhism and seek enlightenment with my own voice.

There are two reasons I hope you’ll accept my invitation (with or without its being voiced):

·     Naturally, I hope you’ll practice and attain enlightenment way before I do.

·     I know that my revolution, in terms of what my presidential candidacies* of both 2008 and 2012 had (and still have!) to offer, can’t come to pass without you. Not all of you, since I know that can’t happen, but one of you will do quite nicely. Are you that one?

My sky can be your sky, too

One day, a couple of summers ago, I left my office and walked across campus toward a bus stop (yes, I take public trans). However, I didn’t get too far before noticing the most wonderful cloud formation I’d ever seen grace a setting sun. It was quite striking, I stopped dead in my tracks and beheld its wonder. Then I looked at the students and professors milling about, none of them noticing this stunning celestial display.

Then I thought, “How can they not see this?”

Then I remembered one of the benefits of Buddhist practice: Enhancement of the senses, especially the sense of appreciation. Not to take anything away from those clouds on that day, but it is worth noting that we cannot truly see unless we have the eyes to see. [The trick is, how to acquire those eyes.]

The clouds that day were truly breathtaking, comparable to the clouds that overwhelmed me the day after my best friend died twelve years ago. I walked across campus to his office to tell his coworkers about his passing, when I chanced to look up. Mike Tappin was a brilliant photographer, especially in black and white, which was how those clouds were toned on that dark morning.

I stopped in my tracks then and addressed the clouds (or rather, who I’d supposed was their artistic arranger) and said, “Thanks, Mike.” For I felt that he himself had shaped those clouds into an intricate roiling abstraction – who knows what the dead can do? I’d never seen anything like it in black-and-white before or since – my more recent cloudy experience having been in color.

Steven Searle
Former candidate for US President (in 2008 and 2012), and
Just another member of the Virtual Samgha of the Lotus

“Trade up and seek enlightenment" - Steven Searle.

Contact me at bpa_cinc@yahoo.com

Footnote and Postscript:

* - This asterisk is meant to convey that I am cross-posting this essay which I had first posted back on January 13, 2011 from this blogsite to this blogsite:

      From: http://ind4prez2012.blogspot.com

      To:   http://lotussutrachampions.blogspot.com

Postscript:  Today, Nov. 5, 2013, I not only posted this essay to my lotus site but I posted a slightly revised version (deleting the 2011 version), including the ending Footnote and Postscript, to my ind4prez2012 site.