Showing posts with label Pudding Face. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Pudding Face. Show all posts

Monday, October 3, 2011

US President’s weekly Yahoo News updates

Once per week, I consolidate comments I’d posted to recent articles appearing on Yahoo News. I share my views, written as if I actually were the US President. [I’m working on that.] The following were posted between Sept. 26 and today, though appear below in no particular order. As is my usual custom, if I open with a quoted item, that’s from the article itself.

I hope you enjoy all 14 of these mini-essays/comments.



ONE:

[I’ll open with one comment I tried to post, but which Yahoo barred.]

“It was about this time five years ago when political strategist David Axelrod sat down and wrote a memo…”

Seriously? Does anybody really buy that? The Unknown Mulatto of the Thin Resume got elected by passing muster with the Elite (some people call them Illuminati). They, for one thing, made sure the media didn’t savage the inexperienced candidate. In exchange, Obama promised increased activity in Afghanistan, basically maintaining Dubya’s GWOT initiatives. David Axelrod’s memo of encouragement had nothing to do with it.

Steven Searle for US President in 2012
“Without the approval of the Elite way in advance, if Obama would have run and gained traction on his own, he would have been shot dead well before the election.”



TWO:

“….partly because the administration-backed National Transitional Council [Libya’s new rulers] can’t guard the weapons depots…”

Hmm…it’s more likely the NTC is simply looking the other way. Sorry, but I can’t hold back on this: I told you so.

Steven Searle for US President in 2012
“Sin is punished one way or another – and the basis of our choosing winners (protecting civilians) was a lie from day one. And, yes, I consider the telling of falsehoods to be sinful.”




THREE:

Jack thinks [the USA’s] Founding Fathers created a “Constitutionally Limited Republic.” However, he’s overlooking the fact that nowhere in our Constitution is the creation of a single nation declared. The United States is simply that – a collection of states in a union. While it’s true this union is binding, it is really just that – a union of states (not a fusion into one state). Perhaps Jack would have been more accurate to claim, “our Founding Fathers created a Constitutional Union of Republics [plural].”

Steven Searle for US President in 2012
“I’m amazed at how many people gleefully point out that the US wasn’t intended by its Founders to be a democracy.”



FOUR:

“In a devastating double-blow to al-Qaida's most dangerous franchise…”

When I read openings like this, I think about Orwell’s Ministry of Truth [read: “Propaganda] busily cranking out the horse poop.

Killing two people (even high profile, so-called “leaders”) is not a devastating blow. What would have been more “devastating” would have been to capture both of them, try them for treason, and give them life sentences. What we did instead was create two more martyrs, which has quite the opposite effect than this so-called “devastating double-blow.”

Oh, well, at least we didn’t have any boots on the ground for this operation. Oh, wait a minute…yeah, I guess we did. Maybe the shorter list would be of those countries where we don’t have boots on the ground (sneaky boots or blatant boots). Are there any?

Steven Searle for US President in 2012
“This boots on the ground stuff is overrated…and it’s another way of saying we’re overextended.”



FIVE:

It won't matter who our next president will be. We’re too far past the point of no return, and it’s not even like our fate is in our own hands. The only strategies which will work are the only ones We-the-Sheeple won’t embrace – vote all incumbents out of office, and vote for independents when possible. We’re too programmed to abandon our addiction to the Dem/Pub Brand-Name labels. Advertising does pay, but oh at what a price!

And please stop making noise about Ron Paul. He's as much a believer in the Brand-Name system as are all the other pols. Why else do you think he couldn't have grown a pair and officially declared himself a Libertarian years ago - and stuck with it? It's simple: He's a political opportunist - nothing more, nothing less.

Steven Searle for US President in 2012
“Google these words: Pudding face GOP.”



SIX:

I never thought I’d agree with Dick Cheney on anything. But he’s right.

However, I issue a disclaimer: Even though Obama supports “enhanced interrogation,” I maintain that the US has indeed “walked away from our ideals [not to mention international law]” under both administrations regarding…yeah, I’ll call it what it is – torture.

Obama owes Bush an even greater apology: Since his behavior and Bush’s regarding our meddling in Iraq and Afghanistan are indistinguishable, Obama might as well own up to continuing Bush’s legacy. [Go on, come right out and say it, Mr. Transparency President: "I am Dubya II."]

Steven Searle for US President in 2012
“Obama’s fancy footwork in Libya was truly his own, but he was inspired by that master dancer – Dubya himself.”



SEVEN:

Ron Paul destroyed any chance he might have had to win the GOP nomination. Saying “we now have an accepted practice of the president assassinating people” will not endear him to the GOP rank-and-file.

Personally? I think our government engages in assassinations – at home and abroad – pretty much whenever they want to. Who can stop them? You? Me? The Constitution? The point is, a major candidate can’t come right out and say we’re behaving extra-legally. No matter what good points Ron Paul may have, his detractors will pound him to insignificance with this.

My beef with killing these two Americans [by means of a drone strike in Yemen] is strategic: Their value to al-Qaeda while alive is going to prove to be a lot less than their value now that they’re dead. Perhaps we wanted to remove these two threats – that’s one thing. But did we have to go and blat it to the entire world?

Steven Searle for US President in 2012
“I will try my best to understand our leaders’ morality; I will never forgive their lack of intelligence.”



EIGHT:

Andy Rooney? What a massive discredit to the field of journalism! But, come to think of it, his schtick wasn't ever journalism - it was entertainment. A useful stooge for the Elite - nothing more. Good riddance, Andy!

Steven Searle for US President in 2012
"Andy Rooney was a signficant contributor to our downward spiral as a nation, since too many people bought into this guy in a serious way."



NINE:

“AQAP has taken advantage of nearly nine months of sweeping unrest against President Ali Abdullah Saleh [of Yemen]…”

And what caused these “nine months of sweeping unrest?”  Maybe in part: Saleh’s people don’t think much of him cooperating with the US. I hope our intel orgs weighed the benefits of this high-profile killing against the costs to be incurred in terms of backlash.

Steven Searle for US President in 2012
"We're not very good at thinking ahead.”


TEN:

Hey, We-the-People, this actually simplifies our task. All We have to do is not contribute to any of the candidates, find out which candidates receive the most super PAC money and vote against them.

Wait! It’s even simpler than that. Vote against all incumbents, which of course means vote against Obama. Even if We detest the eventual GOP contender, vote for him/her (even Bachmann!) anyway. The only way we’ll teach our rulers a lesson is if We show they can’t count on us being so predictable.

Steven Searle for US President in 2012
“This should serve to encourage independents to run.”

ELEVEN:

The following is my response to Ronald, who had this to say in response to the item immediately above: “So then you've never voted your conscience? It's always AGAINST something or someone? "Teach our rulers a lesson" means nothing at all if you are voting FOR the lowest common denominator. And it simply continues the cycle of honoring mediocrity as excellence in our country.”

Ronald,

“Voting one’s conscience” doesn’t mean anything if the deck is stacked. “Voting my conscience” means voting for independents. But the deck is so badly stacked against them by the Dem/Pubs, they rarely even make it onto the ballot.

What our rulers are basically telling us is, “you have two choices – Democrat or Republican.” Unless we can break that monopoly, we’ll never gain access to independent candidates to any appreciable degree (which in my mind translates to “quality candidates not beholden to a party”). And the only way to break that monopoly is to show the Dem/Pubs that we’re not in their pocket – that is, that we can behave unpredictably.

As for your question, “It’s always AGAINST something or someone?” For a lot of people, that’s exactly what gets them out to vote in the first place; it’s called “voting for the lesser of two evils.” In that case, we’ll always be voting for evil, now won’t we?

Steven Searle for US President in 2012
“Sure, I’ve voted my conscience before, but I’ve gotten tired of throwing my vote away. Time to challenge the Machine with a truly effective weapon – unemployment due to loss of office.”

TWELVE:

Netanyahu is about to learn a very important lesson: “Even though being (the state of) Israel means never having to say you’re sorry, that doesn’t mean that Israel won’t end up being very sorry.”

I can understand how some Egyptians might want to exploit a power vacuum in the Sinai, since they might want some payback for all of those years the US supported Mubarak’s efforts to suppress his own people. And since Israel is a “friend” of the US, well…I’ll let you finish that sentence.

Steven Searle for US President in 2012
“What goes around, comes around – Karma 101.”



THIRTEEN:

[Concerning winning enough primary delegates to remain credible.]

“That translates into money and that allows you to keep going."
Candidates who can attract money end up becoming officials who owe favors. In response, We-the-People should adopt three basic strategies: Vote against the incumbent, vote against the candidate pulling in the most campaign “contributions,” and stop donating. What the Status Quo loves (and depends on) is our predictability and how easily we can be manipulated. [Didn’t the faux “controversy” over “Great taste!” vs. “Less filling!” still leave you with (after all the foam, uh, I mean "dust" settles) really lousy beer?]

I think it was the old movie “The Wheeler Dealers” that had this great line: “The money doesn’t matter – it’s just a way of keeping score.” That’s the way the Oligarchs think as they go after what they really want – not money, but power. If we lose our predictability, we can skew their grand plans.

Steven Searle for US President in 2012
“I’m the only candidate who is refusing (and not even soliciting) campaign contributions. Google the words: GOP pudding face.”


FOURTEEN:

“And thanks to a lack of political consensus combined with Europe's unwieldy decision-making process, any new plan likely won't go into effect…”

The preceding sentence describes the US fairly accurately. My suggested remedy for both – the EU and the USA? A new governance system based on a model I created in the 70’s – actually, in 1976 in honor of the US bicentennial. Google these words for a description of CSR: Cross-Sectional Representational Representation.

Steven Searle for US President in 2012
“Over the years, the main problem I’ve had promoting CSR is that people are highly resistant to change. Kind of makes you wonder how the US was brave enough in the early days of the Republic to go with something as radical as the Constitution crafted by the Founding Fathers. Have we lost our courage?

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Steven Searle for US President in 2012
Founder of The Independent Contractors’ Party

“Declare your independence by voting for independents. If there aren’t any available, vote against all incumbents – bar none.”

Contact me at bpa_cinc@yahoo.com

Monday, September 5, 2011

“Pudding Face” Candidates of the GOP

Opening query

I wonder what Sarah Palin would look like with a Pudding Face. In case you haven’t seen any of these disgusting & creepy Jell-o Pudding Face commercials, these two clips are worth a licking (I mean, a looking):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YyKhP6x0tXE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wRWMq32PyHE&feature=related


NEWS FLASH: It has recently been revealed that the Joker in the 1989 film version of Batman did not fall into a vat of chemicals. It was a vat of Pudding or rather an experimental batch of Pudding’s precursor. Happily, many of the bugs have been worked out of that formula, or else we’d all be running around for life looking like Jack Nicholson’s Joker…assuming, that is, that all of us would eat this stuff:



A Repeated Appeal

I’ve made this appeal to you numerous times before, but I’ll repeat it again: I’m looking for artists and other creative types to transform my scripts/suggestions into commercials or YouTube clips. What follows would support my candidacy for the US presidency in 2012 by caricaturing my GOP opponents. If you, on your own, decide you want to “Pudding Face” Obama via Photoshop, be my guest. But I think your efforts would be better spent on the stable of GOP pretenders. Why? Practically speaking, Obama would be far more vulnerable to a stone-cold sober look at his track record and broken promises.


Short and Long Versions

An easy and brief way to exploit the Pudding Face theme would be to start with a narrator saying: “Now here’s a face you can trust, one that has ‘sincerity’ written all over it.” Then an image of Michele Bachman in full rictus grin appears saying: “Under President Bachmann you will see gasoline come down below $2 a gallon again.* And that’s no laughing matter.”

Or we could feature Governor Perry saying, “I believe Texas has the right, unique among the 50 states, to secede from the union if it wants to.** [Pause] But at the moment, I’m having a problem saying that with a straight face.”

However, I think “Pudding Face” can be better exploited in a longer format. Something along the lines of “The Last Supper.” I’ll explain.


The Last Supper

Scene: A table set for 13 places as in the famous painting by da Vinci, with the middle place unoccupied. Seated at the other 12 places are GOP candidates having assembled for a private, untelevised retreat. This occurs several months into the 2012 campaign season, by which time the candidates have agreed to an informal meeting of the minds. The “Last Supper” format was agreed upon to add an air of seriousness, to help assure that the words spoken would be those suitable for utterance in the presence of the Son of God.

Rationale: The campaign has taken its toll on all of the candidates – they’re tired and they’re crabby. In the name of unity, they decide to speak frankly to each other without aides, advisors, or any kind of audience. They want a Republican to win in 2012, and they know they have to collectively figure out a way for that to happen.

Unfortunately: An aide had the bright idea of leaving each of them a serving of Jell-o Pudding before he left their presence. It doesn’t take long, after they eat their share, for things to take a turn for the worse.

The scenario unfolds: Chaos ensues as each looks at the others and starts laughing, as all except Palin realize s/he too looks like a Joker. Bachmann could even say to Romney, “Better watch out, Joker. I heard Batman’s looking for you.” But she’s quickly admonished by Ron Paul who says, “We can’t be talking that way about each other… seriously.” All heads turn to Paul and say in unison, “Seriously?” And then they burst out laughing as they point at him.

Bachmann holds up a mirror for Paul to see how ridiculous he looks, and he too bursts out laughing.

Palin grabs the mirror, saying, “Give me that.” Before holding it up to her face, she says, “Mirror, mirror in my hand, who’s the fairest in the land?” When we see what she sees – her face in the mirror – she shrieks in disbelief, “Noooo!” – as the others fall silent.

“We’ve got to find a way to lose these silly grins” – Gingrich.

“You’re right. How can we get down to business looking like this?” – Huntsman [speaking in Chinese, subtitled in English].

“Let’s have none of that, China man. We speak English here.” – Perry.

Huntsman bows and says, “So solly.”

“I know how to wipe off these grins. Just say something that will make us serious or angry. [pause, then angrily…] Hey, better that than this [pointing at his own ear-to-ear smile].” – Gingrich.

“I know! In your face: Jesus Christ was a Black man. I heard that from no less an authority than WikiLeaks” – Cain.

“And you are the walking mark of Cain, a stain on the whole GOP” – Santorum.

“Have you ever googled the word ‘santorum’?”– Palin [giggling]. In subtitles, we see this (from google):

Santorum 1. The frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex. 2. Senator Rick Santorum.

Bachmann bursts out laughing. Santorum glares at her – still grinning irrepressibly – and says, “What are you laughing at – asshole?”

“Let’s not get into that” – Romney.

“I should hope none of us would ever want to get into that” – Ron Paul says, looking at Rick Perry. Brief silence, then everybody bursts out laughing.

“Wait a minute. Why should we worry? This shit will wear off, right? Then we’ll get down to business” – Perry.

“It won’t wear off until the price of gas goes under $2 a gallon, right Michele?” – Gingrich.

Rick Perry explodes with, “You mean it won’t ever wear off!?”

“Come on, Tex, lighten up. I was just joking” – Gingrich.

“What we should do is pray for guidance.” – Cain.

“I know! Let’s pray for the empty place of honor at our table to be filled by that which is the true spirit of the Republican Party” – Palin, gesturing toward the empty seat meant, symbolically, for Jesus Christ. They all bow their heads and before long, a spirit manifests itself.


[I’m not sure who that spirit should be,
so I’ll offer two possibilities.]


The first possibility – Adolph Hitler

“Are you the true spirit of the Republican party?” – Bachmann.

“That’s a matter of opinion. But I'll give you some advice, which is also what you prayed for” – Hitler. He looks disdainfully at the Pudding on his plate, and eats it. The others try to stop him with words of warning, but to no avail. He briefly breaks out in Pudding Face, which quickly disappears.

“My advice to you: Do what I just did – use a little force of will to overcome any obstacles you might face. Even if that obstacle happens to be your face itself.” [muttering] “You people are too soft to lead a great nation. You totally lack discipline.”


The second possibility – a visitor from a roughly parallel universe

A man appears dressed as a Pope. Perry says, “Who you supposed to be, boy?”

“I am known as Pope Simony Simon the Parsimonius.” [See two definitions below]

DEFN: Simony = the buying or selling of ecclesiastical privileges.
DEFN: Parsimonious = extreme care or reluctance in spending; frugality.

“Your name is really simony?” – Romney asks, incredulously.

“Yes, which just goes to show the true miracle of my elevation. If a guy named Simony can become Pope, anything’s possible.”

“Describe your world, where such a thing is possible?” – Huntsman.

“I come from a place, not so different from this place, where simony isn’t considered a bad thing. Everything is for sale and everybody knows it, the only question being, ‘Is the sale good for both buyer and seller?’ As for me being ‘Parsimonious,’ I may expound ‘extreme care or reluctance in spending,’ but that doesn’t mean I won’t spend at all or even spend greatly if the potential profit is also great.”

“So what is your advice to us, Pope Simony Simon?” – Cain.

“If you – and by ‘you,’ I mean the GOP – want to take the White House in 2012, you’ve got to forge unity among yourselves.”

“What kind of ‘unity’?” – Gingrich.

“The kind of unity that will wipe those silly grins off your faces. Look, counting me, there are 13 people here – that’s enough for a coven. Join hands with me and pray for success. But include a willingness to pay any price. Deal or no deal?”

With a freeze fame of the entire group, this is a good place to end.


Other actors

I only identified 9 of the participants in this Last Supper, but certainly more could be added to make an even dozen. Though undeclared, these three would be good sources of comedic material: Marco Rubio, Jeb Bush, and Chris Christie.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

   * Bachmann actually uttered this sentence before a live crowd in South Carolina.

   ** Governor Perry believes this, but didn’t utter these exact words.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Steven Searle for US President in 2012
Founder of The Independent Contractors’ Party

“In the name of comedy, I have no problem pushing the envelope. The same could be said of my determination to explore all ways and means of undermining the Two Party system which is destroying this country.” – Steve.

Contact me at bpa_cinc@yahoo.com